Tinglers and Tampons

This post is more of a WTF category, just a couple of things I’ve come across recently that made me stop and take a second look…

The first one was at a truck stop somewhere between Melbourne and Canberra.

Boldly Glow Where No Man Has Glowed Before

Boldly Glow Where No Man Has Glowed Before

While washing hands in a toilet, I’ve noticed a vending machine that was selling Tingler Rings.

Looks like our truckies have become more sophisticated, more adventurous. It’s not enough to just grab a plain old condom from a machine for a quick “pit-stop” on a way. Now they are looking for the Tingler Ring – a product promising you to “Boldly glow where no man has glowed before”.

It also promises to “Prolong The Pleasure Of Sex” – I always thought that our truck drivers work on a tight schedule, they would be more interested in a product that will allow them to get maximum satisfaction in a shortest time possible…you know, “in, out, back on the road again”?

 

The second thing that made me go “hmmm” was the banner in a local health shop.

What's In Your Tampon?

What’s In Your Tampon?

For a reason that escapes me, they posted a question “What’s in your tampon?”

Now, I’m not too sure what they are trying to achieve here… If they want to know what tampons are made of, they might be better off directing the question to the manufactures. If they want to know what’s in a tampon after it’s been used, I don’t even want to go there.

Being a health shop specializing in all things “natural”, I suspect they wanted to make people aware of some different type of tampons made of natural, or recycled ingredients.

What I find hard to swallow, even harder than a tampon staring in my face, is the fact that they sell those horrible drinks there, they call it “coffee” but it’s made from the soy milk and dandelions. No human should be allowed to suffer through drinking that horrible stuff.

Maybe next they should put up a poster asking “How to make real coffee?”

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Russian Empire Strikes Back

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past month or so, you would’ve heard about Russia moving in and “acquiring” a bit of Ukrainian territory- relatively small, but important bit of land called Crimea.

There have been a lot said about the issue, some labeling Russia as an “aggressor”, some applauding Russia for taking back what’s rightfully theirs.

Russian expands its empire

Russia looks at expanding its empire

Both sides use similar arguments to prove they are right….Ukraine was there first, or Russia was there longer. Every time I read it, I quietly giggle to myself and think of another party that might put a claim to Crimea, one with more reasons than Russia or Ukraine, yet virtually never mentioned in mainstream media. This third party is Germany.

Yes, as strange as it might sound, but the longest living people in Crimea were the Goth people, present day Germany. According to some sources, they have been living in Crimea between 850 CE and middle 1800’s. So maybe someone should tell Angela Merkel about the opportunity to expand?

This is of course a joke. I think that things are complicated enough with only Russians and Ukrainians claiming ownership, without Germany throwing their hat into proverbial ring.

What isn’t a joke is the fact that there is currently a petition on the White House’s petitions site, asking US Government to give Alaska back to Russia. When I came across it for the first time, I was amused by it, thinking something along the lines “look – a few hundred idiots playing a prank”.

However when I looked at this site again a couple of weeks later, the number of people who had signed the petition has grown to almost 39,000. Now for anyone unfamiliar with the process, once the petition is lodged, it needs to attract 100,000 signatures in 1 month for it to be looked at by the Government. With 2 weeks to go and 61,000 signatures still needed, I seriously doubt this initiative will ever get the numbers required, but stranger things happen.

Stunning view north of Fairbanks, Alaska

Stunning view north of Fairbanks, Alaska

So all the good people of Alaska can breeze easy and sleep well, knowing that when they wake up in a morning, there would be still a stars-n-stripes waving at them from the mast of the Governor’s Mansion, and the only Russians on the streets of Alaska’s cities would be the 10,000 or so that have been living there for the past few centuries.

 

 

I will finish off with a famous quote: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.