Radicalised Atheists And Your Obligations on a Census Night

I’ve come across this billboard the other day. It suggests to mark No Religion in the upcoming census.

Be careful who you listen to.

Be careful who you listen to.

We just had a federal election, and if you remember, there were Australian Christians party and Christian Democratic Party thrown in a mix of all the parties fighting for the 150 seats in the big house on the hill. So why didn’t this “no religion” mob erect a billboard then? Why didn’t they try to convince us not to vote for parties associated with religion? And why did they spring into action now? A billboard this size doesn’t come cheap, so who’s paying for it, and who will benefit from it?

So you’ve missed few weeks (or years) going to church/mosque/synagogue? Is it really a good enough reason to abandon something that kept generations of your ancestors going, from your parents to grandparents to great-grandparents and so on…. And even if you don’t feel all that religious today, in 20, or 40 or 60 years time things can change. We change, we look at life differently. Make sure that what you enter into your census on August 9 will not come back and bite you on the ass later on.

If you ever identified yourself as Christian, mark it as such, if you’ve always thought of yourself as Jedi, mark it too. I mean seriously, if Tom Cruise, Kate Ceberano and Kirstie Alley could believe that the Earth was populated by little green aliens, why can’t you believe that you are a Jedi knight? In words of George Costanza – It’s not a lie if you believe it!

So before you start listening to a teacher of Religious Education telling you not to mark religion on your census form, ask yourself WHY?

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention – one of the people behind this “no religion” campaign was a former school Religious Ed teacher, and the other one is a former leader of a fundamentalist Christian church. Have they become radicalised atheists?

Which makes me wonder… were they spinning shit then, or are they spinning shit now?

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Labor’s scare campaign

Just a short post, brought on by one of the election campaign ads coming out of the Labor camp. As usual, they have nothing constructive to say, so they do what they best – talk shit.

I am referring to the ad that Labor are running in which they talk about Turnbull never having to use services like Medicare, implying that he is one of the Australian rich ones (which is true).
Interestingly, they conveniently forgot to mention that Billy Shorten isn’t exactly a poor man either. He attended Xavier College, where fees run in excess of $20,000 per year.
After finishing school and Monash Uni, he hasn’t done a day’s honest work in his life.
While doing his gig as a Union bully, he was married to Deborah Beale – a daughter of Julian Beale – a Liberal MP and a wealthy Melbourne investor. During this time, he was known to use his buddy’s Pratt’s private jet as his own.

Former Faceless Man, now in a running to become our next Prime Minister

Former Faceless Man, now in a running to become our next Prime Minister

But Bill is always looking only after one man – himself. That’s why at the first opportunity, he dumped his “Liberal blue blood” wife to throw his lot in with the glamorous daughter of the Governor-General, Quentin Bryce.

So if anyone has no clue about how us, “regular” folk live, that would be Mister “I only look after myself and ready to stab my friends in the back” Shorten.

I got my Crystal Ball out, and here are my 6 predictions for 2015

2015 is here, and looks like we are stuck with it for the foreseeable future. Some people like to look back and reminisce, but I prefer to look forward and get ready for what lies ahead.
So what is ahead? I don’t have a crystal ball, and I’m not particularly good at reading tea leaves – some people might say that I’m not particularly good at anything, but I think these people are just mean.
So I’ll have a go at coming up with the list of 6 predictions for the new year, and in a last blog of 2015 I’ll try see how many of my predictions were right.

unemployment

Unemployment to go up in 2015

1. Lets start with the sad and boring: Unemployment in Australia will hit 7.2%

2. With all the Wearables popping up, the time is almost right for this part of the market to explode…. Almost, but not quite. There won’t be any “out of this world” breakthrough in a next 12 months.

3. Speaking of “out of this world” – 2015 is set to be a year when we’ll see the advertising done in space, specifically; it will be placed on the Moon. Can’t wait to see the laser displays to rival the beauty of Aurora Borealis.

4. The sanctions on Russia will be relaxed, or removed completely. In part it will be due to the increased tensions between Turkey and Greece over the Mediterranean gas fields. (and yes, Russia will retain all the territories it “acquired” last year)

Parliament of Australia

Parliament of Australia

5. Closer to home – in September, it will be two interstate AFL teams battling in the Grand Final, but the Port wouldn’t have enough power when it’s needed most, and so it would be the Swans flying back to Sydney with the Cup.

6. Tony Abbot to lose his residence at The Lodge by 30th of April (this one is actually not my prediction, it’s a learned opinion of my friend-blogger Edward from The Mugwump Post )

 

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

There is this Russian saying that goes something like this: The way you’ll start a New Year is the way you’ll finish it. To make sure that I finish 2015 on a high, I better start it right…

Cheers, everyone, Happy New Year!

Miss World Pageant- a Miss Universe’s Poor Cousin?

The other day I stumbled upon a Miss World Pageant show on Foxtel. Naturally, I stopped my channel surfing and decided to have a look. I was expecting to see Donald Trump’s silly hair, to hear contestants talking about world peace, while wearing a “barely there” bikinis….

Miss USSR 1990 Maria Kezha

Miss USSR 1990
Maria Kezha

Imagine my disappointment, when I realized that I’m watching the wrong show! Whose idea was it to create 2 (almost) identical shows? It’s like having NCIS and say, NCIS LA, or NCIS New Orleans; oh, hang on a minute….  Anyway, how does one decide which show to enter? If you are a bit smarter, you enter the Miss World one, but if you have more beauty than brains you try your luck in Miss Universe? Those are difficult decisions for girls to make 🙂

Also, isn’t it a bit ambitious to call it a Miss Universe? I mean, it’s OK for now, but the name would imply that the contestants from other worlds are eligible to enter. Wouldn’t it be ironic, if we get some beautiful ladies from planet Crespallion, or Acamar, or Crematoria or some other far-away place coming here and taking the pretty little crown away from us? I wonder if there is a clause in an application stipulation that a contestant has to be from Earth, or even a humanoid?

Nigerian beauty queen

Queen Celestine

Anyway, the show’s over. Now we wait for the Miss Universe to entertain us next month. Apparently, there even going to be a Nigerian Queen.

 

Speed Cameras Save Lives, or Do They?

While checking on some facts for my previous blog, I came across a lot of data related to speed limits and speed laws on our roads, about how speed cameras save lives. What I found strange though, is that there was very little data coming up related to how much safety improvements to the new cars affected road statistics.

If we are to believe our government, “Speed cameras make our roads safer. They’ve reduced crashes at intersections by 47 per cent and have helped cut our road toll by a third”. At first glance, this statement is pretty self-explanatory and non-controversial, right? Wrong!

Speed Cameras - Revenue Raisers

Speed Cameras – Revenue Raisers

Read it again: “and have helped cut our road toll by a third”. Notice – speed cameras didn’t cut road toll by a third, they have helped to cut it. What it really means is that the actual number attributed to speed cameras could be as low as 1%. Just think about it….if speed cameras really saved lives, and our government had the numbers to prove it, they would’ve come up with a statement that reads something like this: “Speed cameras make our roads safer. They’ve reduced crashes at intersections by 47 per cent and 30% of all lives saved is due to speed cameras”. See the difference?

Now that you spotted the difference, let’s see what the original statement actually says. It says that the road toll has been reduced by a third. It has been reduced by COMBINED efforts of car manufacturers making our cars safer, by improvements in road constructions making roads themselves safer, by improved algorithms of traffic management and by constant education campaign.

Improved Car Safety Saves Lives

Improved Car Safety Saves Lives

We all know that European cars have a reputation for being safe. It comes as no surprise than, that the vehicle safety is identified as a key strategy by the European Union towards addressing the EU-wide goal to reduce deaths by 50%. Again, take notice – not by putting more speed cameras on a road, but by improving car safety.

I would like to finish by quoting the boss of Mazda Australia, who has accused road safety authorities of creating a nation of “distracted drivers” by forcing them to watch their car’s speedometer – rather than the traffic ahead – because they’re scared to go 1km/h over the speed limit.”

Tinglers and Tampons

This post is more of a WTF category, just a couple of things I’ve come across recently that made me stop and take a second look…

The first one was at a truck stop somewhere between Melbourne and Canberra.

Boldly Glow Where No Man Has Glowed Before

Boldly Glow Where No Man Has Glowed Before

While washing hands in a toilet, I’ve noticed a vending machine that was selling Tingler Rings.

Looks like our truckies have become more sophisticated, more adventurous. It’s not enough to just grab a plain old condom from a machine for a quick “pit-stop” on a way. Now they are looking for the Tingler Ring – a product promising you to “Boldly glow where no man has glowed before”.

It also promises to “Prolong The Pleasure Of Sex” – I always thought that our truck drivers work on a tight schedule, they would be more interested in a product that will allow them to get maximum satisfaction in a shortest time possible…you know, “in, out, back on the road again”?

 

The second thing that made me go “hmmm” was the banner in a local health shop.

What's In Your Tampon?

What’s In Your Tampon?

For a reason that escapes me, they posted a question “What’s in your tampon?”

Now, I’m not too sure what they are trying to achieve here… If they want to know what tampons are made of, they might be better off directing the question to the manufactures. If they want to know what’s in a tampon after it’s been used, I don’t even want to go there.

Being a health shop specializing in all things “natural”, I suspect they wanted to make people aware of some different type of tampons made of natural, or recycled ingredients.

What I find hard to swallow, even harder than a tampon staring in my face, is the fact that they sell those horrible drinks there, they call it “coffee” but it’s made from the soy milk and dandelions. No human should be allowed to suffer through drinking that horrible stuff.

Maybe next they should put up a poster asking “How to make real coffee?”

Celebrity Gossip Vs News

To be fair, the title of this blog might be a bit misleading. It’s not really celeb gossip VS news. Today, celebrity gossip IS the news.

Just think about it…..

Dennis Rodman making headlines

Dennis Rodman making headlines

Dennis Rodman travels to North Korea to bring birthday presents to his mate, dictator Kim Jong Un. Is it a gossip, or a news item? Or a fusion of both? What about AFL legend Doug Hawkins standing for Palmer party in a last election? Or U2’s front man Bono speaking about Mandela. Gossip? News? Search Google News for “Schapelle Corby” and the top result is about the bidding war for her first post-jail interview. Does anyone really give a shit?

Do we really care what celebrities think or say? (the two are not necessarily the same) What’s even more important, when did it become acceptable to substitute facts of political, economic or cultural news with titbits of celebrity gossip disguised as news?

So what have we got here….Rodman is breaking the United States law that forbids the flow of luxury items into North Korea. Hawkins? He was, without a doubt, an extremely talented sportsman and a bit of a court jester on The Footy Show, but that doesn’t make him even remotely qualified to enter politics. Bono – hardly a person inspiring respect. He is known for his “efforts” to eliminate poverty in Africa; however some experts say that what he does is actually causing more damage than good. Also, Bono – the citizen of Ireland, is not the most popular Irish son, all because he chooses not to pay his taxes in Ireland.

Schapelle Corby - alleged drug smuggler

Schapelle Corby – alleged drug smuggler

Schapelle? An alleged drug smuggler who somehow managed to attain status of quasi celebrity.

So why are we being forced to accept these celebrity gossip – turn – celebrity-flavoured news?

 

The answer is two-fold. First, it is much easier for local news crews to regurgitate already substandard overseas news than to report it’s own. Second, and probably more important, is the fact that the news business is a money making venture. This makes it impossible to report the news objectively.